- Problem Gambling A Guide For Family And Friends Free
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Are you or a loved one dealing with a gambling problem? Explore the warning signs and symptoms and learn how to stop.
Denial keeps problem gambling going. If friends and family are worried, listen to them carefully. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Many older gamblers are reluctant to reach out to their adult children if they’ve gambled away their inheritance, but it’s never too late to make changes for the better. Causes problems with family or friends. Not all people who gamble excessively are alike, nor are the problems they face. People with gambling problems are found in all age groups, income groups, cultures and jobs. Some people develop gambling problems suddenly, others over many years.
What is gambling addiction and problem gambling?
Gambling problems can happen to anyone from any walk of life. Your gambling goes from a fun, harmless diversion to an unhealthy obsession with serious consequences. Whether you bet on sports, scratch cards, roulette, poker, or slots—in a casino, at the track, or online—a gambling problem can strain your relationships, interfere with work, and lead to financial disaster. You may even do things you never thought you would, like running up huge debts or even stealing money to gamble.
Gambling addiction—also known as pathological gambling, compulsive gambling or gambling disorder—is an impulse-control disorder. If you’re a compulsive gambler, you can’t control the impulse to gamble, even when it has negative consequences for you or your loved ones. You’ll gamble whether you’re up or down, broke or flush, and you’ll keep gambling regardless of the consequences—even when you know that the odds are against you or you can’t afford to lose.
Of course, you can also have a gambling problem without being totally out of control. Problem gambling is any gambling behavior that disrupts your life. If you’re preoccupied with gambling, spending more and more time and money on it, chasing losses, or gambling despite serious consequences in your life, you have a gambling problem.
A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Many problem gamblers also suffer with substance abuse issues, unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well.
Although it may feel like you’re powerless to stop gambling, there are plenty of things you can do to overcome the problem, repair your relationships and finances, and finally regain control of your life.
The first step is to separate the myths from the facts about gambling problems:
Myths and Facts about Gambling Problems |
Myth: You have to gamble every day to be a problem gambler. Fact: A problem gambler may gamble frequently or infrequently. Gambling is a problem if it causes problems. |
Myth: Problem gambling is not really a problem if the gambler can afford it. Fact: Problems caused by excessive gambling are not just financial. Too much time spent on gambling can also lead to relationship and legal problems, job loss, mental health problems including depression and anxiety, and even suicide. |
Myth: Having a gambling problem is just a case of being weak-willed, irresponsible, or unintelligent. Fact: Gambling problems affect people of all levels of intelligence and all backgrounds. Previously responsible and strong-willed people are just as likely to develop a gambling problem as anyone else. |
Myth: Partners of problem gamblers often drive their loved ones to gamble. Fact: Problem gamblers often try to rationalize their behavior. Blaming others is one way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions, including what is needed to overcome the problem. |
Myth: If a problem gambler builds up a debt, you should help them take care of it. Fact: Quick fix solutions may appear to be the right thing to do. However, bailing the gambler out of debt may actually make matters worse by enabling their gambling problems to continue. |
Gambling addiction signs and symptoms
Gambling addiction is sometimes referred to as a “hidden illness” because there are no obvious physical signs or symptoms like there are in drug or alcohol addiction. Problem gamblers also typically deny or minimize the problem—even to themselves. However, you may have a gambling problem if you:
Feel the need to be secretive about your gambling. You might gamble in secret or lie about how much you gamble, feeling others won’t understand or that you will surprise them with a big win.
Have trouble controlling your gambling. Once you start gambling, can you walk away? Or are you compelled to gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, upping your bets in a bid to win lost money back?
Gamble even when you don’t have the money. You may gamble until you’ve spent your last dollar, and then move on to money you don’t have—money to pay bills, credit cards, or things for your children. You may feel pushed to borrow, sell, or even steal things for gambling money.
Have family and friends worried about you. Denial keeps problem gambling going. If friends and family are worried, listen to them carefully. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Many older gamblers are reluctant to reach out to their adult children if they’ve gambled away their inheritance, but it’s never too late to make changes for the better.
Self-help for gambling problems
The biggest step to overcoming a gambling addiction is realizing that you have a problem. It takes tremendous strength and courage to own up to this, especially if you have lost a lot of money and strained or broken relationships along the way. Don’t despair, and don’t try to go it alone. Many others have been in your shoes and have been able to break the habit and rebuild their lives. You can, too.
Learn to relieve unpleasant feelings in healthier ways. Do you gamble when you’re lonely or bored? Or after a stressful day at work or following an argument with your spouse? Gambling may be a way to self-soothe unpleasant emotions, unwind, or socialize. But there are healthier and more effective ways of managing your moods and relieving boredom, such as exercising, spending time with friends who don’t gamble, taking up new hobbies, or practicing relaxation techniques.
Strengthen your support network. It’s tough to battle any addiction without support, so reach out to friends and family. If your support network is limited, there are ways to make new friends without relying on visiting casinos or gambling online. Try reaching out to colleagues at work, joining a sports team or book club, enrolling in an education class, or volunteering for a good cause.
Join a peer support group. Gamblers Anonymous, for example, is a 12-step recovery program patterned after Alcoholics Anonymous. A key part of the program is finding a sponsor, a former gambler who has experience remaining free from addiction and can provide you invaluable guidance and support.
Seek help for underlying mood disorders.Depression, stress, substance abuse, or anxiety can both trigger gambling problems and be made worse by compulsive gambling. Even when gambling is no longer a part of your life, these problems will still remain, so it’s important to address them.
How to stop gambling for good
For many problem gamblers, it’s not quitting gambling that’s the biggest challenge, but rather staying in recovery—making a permanent commitment to stay away from gambling. The Internet has made gambling far more accessible and, therefore, harder for recovering addicts to avoid relapse. Online casinos and bookmakers are open all day, every day for anyone with a smartphone or access to a computer. But maintaining recovery from gambling addiction or problem gambling is still possible if you surround yourself with people to whom you’re accountable, avoid tempting environments and websites, give up control of your finances (at least at first), and find healthier activities to replace gambling in your life.
Making healthier choices
One way to stop gambling is to remove the elements necessary for gambling to occur in your life and replace them with healthier choices. The four elements needed for gambling to continue are:
A decision: For gambling to happen, you need to make the decision to gamble. If you have an urge: stop what you are doing and call someone, think about the consequences to your actions, tell yourself to stop thinking about gambling, and find something else to do immediately.
Money: Gambling cannot occur without money. Get rid of your credit cards, let someone else be in charge of your money, have the bank make automatic payments for you, close online betting accounts, and keep only a limited amount of cash on you.
Time: Even online gambling cannot occur if you don’t have the time. Schedule enjoyable recreational time for yourself that has nothing to do with gambling. If you’re gambling on your smartphone, find other ways to fill the quiet moments during your day.
A game: Without a game or activity to bet on there is no opportunity to gamble. Don’t put yourself in tempting environments. Tell gambling establishments you frequent that you have a gambling problem and ask them to restrict you from entering. Remove gambling apps and block gambling sites on your smartphone and computer.
Finding alternatives to gambling
Maintaining recovery from gambling addiction depends a lot on finding alternative behaviors you can substitute for gambling. Some examples include:
Reason for gambling | Sample substitute behaviors |
To provide excitement, get a rush of adrenaline | Sport or a challenging hobby, such as mountain biking, rock climbing, or Go Kart racing |
To be more social, overcome shyness or isolation | Counseling, enroll in a public speaking class, join a social group, connect with family and friends, volunteer, find new friends |
To numb unpleasant feelings, not think about problems | Try therapy or use HelpGuide’s free Emotional Intelligence toolkit |
Boredom or loneliness | Find something you’re passionate about such as art, music, sports, or books and then find others with the same interests |
To relax after a stressful day | As little as 15 minutes of daily exercise can relieve stress. Or deep breathing, meditation, or massage |
To solve money problems | The odds are always stacked against you so it’s far better to seek help with debts from a credit counselor |
Dealing with gambling cravings
Feeling the urge to gamble is normal, but as you build healthier choices and a strong support network, resisting cravings will become easier. When a gambling craving strikes:
Problem Gambling A Guide For Family And Friends Free
Avoid isolation. Call a trusted family member, meet a friend for coffee, or go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
Postpone gambling. Tell yourself that you’ll wait 5 minutes, fifteen minutes, or an hour. As you wait, the urge to gamble may pass or become weak enough to resist.
Problem Gambling A Guide For Family And Friends Pdf
Visualize what will happen if you give in to the urge to gamble. Think about how you’ll feel after all your money is gone and you’ve disappointed yourself and your family again.
Distract yourself with another activity, such as going to the gym, watching a movie, or practicing a relaxation exercise for gambling cravings.
Coping with lapses
If you aren’t able to resist the gambling craving, don’t be too hard on yourself or use it as an excuse to give up. Overcoming a gambling addiction is a tough process. You may slip from time to time; the important thing is to learn from your mistakes and continue working towards recovery.
Gambling addiction treatment
Overcoming a gambling problem is never easy and seeking professional treatment doesn’t mean that you’re weak in some way or can’t handle your problems. But it’s important to remember that every gambler is unique so you need a recovery program tailored specifically to your needs and situation. Talk to your doctor or mental health professional about different treatment options, including:
Inpatient or residential treatment and rehab programs. These are aimed at those with severe gambling addiction who are unable to avoid gambling without round-the-clock support.
Treatment for underlying conditions contributing to your compulsive gambling, including substance abuse or mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, OCD, or ADHD. This could include therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes. Problem gambling can sometimes be a symptom of bipolar disorder, so your doctor or therapist may need to rule this out before making a diagnosis.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy. CBT for gambling addiction focuses on changing unhealthy gambling behaviors and thoughts, such as rationalizations and false beliefs. It can also teach you how to fight gambling urges and solve financial, work, and relationship problems caused by problem gambling. Therapy can provide you with the tools for coping with your addiction that will last a lifetime.
Family therapy and marriage, career, and credit counseling. These can help you work through the specific issues that have been created by your problem gambling and lay the foundation for repairing your relationships and finances.
How to help someone stop gambling
If your loved one has a gambling problem, you likely have many conflicting emotions. You may have spent a lot of time and energy trying to keep your loved one from gambling or having to cover for them. At the same time, you might be furious at your loved one for gambling again and tired of trying to keep up the charade. Your loved one may have borrowed or even stolen money with no way to pay it back. They may have sold family possessions or run up huge debts on joint credit cards.
Problem Gambling A Guide For Family And Friends Book
While compulsive and problem gamblers need the support of their family and friends to help them in their struggle to stop gambling, the decision to quit has to be theirs. As much as you may want to, and as hard as it is seeing the effects, you cannot make someone stop gambling. However, you can encourage them to seek help, support them in their efforts, protect yourself, and take any talk of suicide seriously.
Preventing suicide in problem gamblers
When faced with the consequences of their actions, problem gamblers can suffer a crushing drop in self-esteem. This is one reason why there is a high rate of suicide among compulsive gamblers. If you suspect your loved one is feeling suicidal, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at 1-800-273-8255 or visit Befrienders Worldwide to find a suicide helpline in your country.
Four tips for family members:
- Start by helping yourself. You have a right to protect yourself emotionally and financially. Don’t blame yourself for the gambler’s problems or let his or her addiction dominate your life. Ignoring your own needs can be a recipe for burnout.
- Don’t go it alone. It can feel so overwhelming coping with a loved one’s gambling addiction that it may seem easier to rationalize their requests “this one last time.” Or you might feel ashamed, feeling like you are the only one who has problems like this. Reaching out for support will make you realize that many families have struggled with this problem.
- Set boundaries in managing money. To ensure the gambler stays accountable and to prevent relapse, consider taking over the family finances. However, this does not mean you are responsible for micromanaging the problem gambler’s impulses to gamble. Your first responsibilities are to ensure that your own finances and credit are not at risk.
- Consider how you will handle requests for money. Problem gamblers often become very good at asking for money, either directly or indirectly. They may use pleading, manipulation, or even threats to get it. It takes practice to ensure you are not enabling your loved one’s gambling addiction.
Do’s and Don’ts for Partners of Problem Gamblers |
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Medically reviewed:06/22/2018
Last updated: 04/17/2020
Author: Addictions.com Medical Review
Reading Time: 7minutes
What is Gambling Addiction?
Gambling addiction or gambling disorder is defined as persistent and recurring problematic gambling behavior that causes distress and impairs your overall livelihood. Gambling addiction affects roughly 0.2% to 0.3% of the general U.S. population, and tends to affects males more than females, though this gender gap has narrowed in recent years. Gambling disorder is a behavioral addiction that can be effectively treated using a range of cognitive and behavioral therapies.
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The desire to buy scratch tickets, play slot machines, and visit casinos aren’t necessarily signs of gambling addiction. But when the desire to gamble becomes overwhelming to the point you can’t stop thinking about it until you gamble on something, may be a sign you need help. Those who suffer from gambling addiction will continue to gamble despite negative financial, legal, and social consequences.
Gambling disorder is a brain disease that can cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do if you weren’t suffering from addiction. Behavioral addictions like gambling disorder are often difficult to manage and control without getting professional help. Addiction treatment centers can help you overcome gambling addiction and teach you important skills aimed at helping you repair problems in your life caused by your disorder.
What are the Signs and Symptoms of Gambling Addiction?
There are no physical health symptoms associated with gambling disorder. Familiarizing yourself with common gambling addiction behaviors can clue you into whether you or a loved one may need professional help.
Chasing after losses is the most common tell-tale sign of gambling disorder. This particular symptom is marked by the urgent need to continue gambling to earn back a loss or series of losses. Individuals diagnosed with gambling disorder may abandon their usual gambling strategies to win back all losses at once and may lie to family, friends, and therapists to hide the severity of their addiction.
The following behaviors are potential signs of gambling addiction:
- Needing to gamble using increasing amounts of money to achieve the desired rush and excitement.
- Feeling restless or irritable when trying to reduce or stop gambling.
- Inability to control, reduce, or quit gambling despite numerous repeated attempts.
- Preoccupation with gambling, such as devising ways to get more gambling money and reliving past gambling experiences.
- Gambling when experiencing feelings of distress, helplessness, guilt, anxiety, and depression.
- Chasing after your losses to get even after losing money gambling.
- Lying to conceal the severity of gambling behaviors, and the addiction.
- Loss of personal relationships, job, and educational pursuits due to gambling.
- Replying on others to provide money to resolve financial situations caused by gambling, such as a threat of eviction from the home.
Those with a mild gambling addiction may exhibit between four and five of these behaviors, while those with a moderately severe gambling addiction may exhibit six to seven of these behaviors. People who suffer from severe gambling addiction will usually exhibit all nine behaviors. Moderate to severe cases of gambling disorder tend to be more common than mild cases.
You might have a gambling problem if:
- You feel compelled to keep gambling until you’ve spent your last dollar. You may keep bidding until you’ve spent everything to win your money back, or you continue increasing bet amounts.
- You hide your gambling from friends or family members. You may sneak off to gamble without telling anyone, or lie about your gambling activities.
- You spend money you don’t have on gambling. You may use money intended for important bills like rent, mortgage, car payments, credit card bills, and other expenses for gambling.
- You steal from others or sell your possessions so you can gamble. You may steal money or belongings from others so you can gamble, or sell or pawn valuable possessions like musical instruments and vehicles to obtain more gambling money.
- You prioritize gambling over obligations related to work, school, family. You may stop going to work or school so you can gamble, or stop buying household necessities so you can use the money for gambling instead.
- You’re experiencing financial hardships due to gambling. You may have lost your home, car, job, and important personal possessions due to gambling.
- You’re facing a range of negative emotions triggered by gambling. Gambling may be a serious problem in your life if it’s triggering depression, anxiety, frustration, agitation, and remorse.
- You want to stop gambling but can’t. You have tried to stop gambling but can’t seem to stop despite your desire to do better and to stop gambling.
Negative Effects of Gambling Addiction
Gambling addiction can produce many more negative effects than just financial hardship. Gambling disorder can affect your physical health, mental health, and social functioning, and lead to the loss of important relationships with friends and loved ones. You may also suffer a decline in work or school performance, and feel more restless and bored with all other areas of life that don’t involve gambling.
Those who suffer from gambling addiction tend to suffer from higher rates of poor general health than those who don’t gamble. Tachycardia and angina are common health problems among those diagnosed with gambling addiction. Many who suffer from gambling disorder also tend to experience distortions in thinking surrounding their addiction, such as superstitions, overconfidence, and a sense of power over the outcome of chance events. Nearly 50% of those receiving treatment for gambling disorder experience suicidal ideation, while an estimated 17% have tried to commit suicide.
The negative effects of problem gambling include:
- Financial problems including high debt, poverty, or bankruptcy
- Domestic violence and child abuse in families
- Suicidal thoughts, attempts, or the act of suicide
- Legal troubles, including arrests for theft or prostitution
- Behavior problems in children of problem gamblers
- Depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders
- Loss of relationships with friends and family
- A decline in performance at work or school
- Suicide and death
- A risk for drug or alcohol abuse
How Does Gambling Addiction Interact with Addiction?
Alcohol and cocaine are the two most common substances associated with gambling and binge gambling, respectively. Alcohol is legally available in most gambling settings such as bars and casinos and is often rewarded to gamblers for free at many of these establishments. Roughly 44% of people with gambling disorder in the U.S. also suffer from an alcohol use disorder.
Binge gambling is defined as intermittent episodes of uncontrolled gambling after long periods of abstinence. For instance, a person who practices binge gambling may only visit the casino five times per year but gamble non-stop for long periods during their stay. Cocaine use tends to be common among these gamblers since it produces stimulating effects of increased energy, alertness, focus, concentration, and confidence.
Individuals with gambling disorders tend to suffer higher rates of co-occurring alcohol and drug use disorders compared to their peers. Gambling often takes place in environments that enable and encourage alcohol and drug use. Gambling can also trigger mental health conditions like anxiety and depression, which many may self-treat using alcohol and drugs like marijuana, painkillers, and other addictive substances.
How Are Gambling Addiction and Substance Use Treated?
Gambling addiction is commonly treated using cognitive and behavioral therapies that treat the root psychological causes of your addiction. These therapies also help you identify and change negative, unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that may have led to your gambling addiction. Treatments for gambling addiction can be tailored especially for you or your loved one based on the factors surrounding your disorder.
Gambling addiction can also be treated using community reinforcement, group therapy, and 12-step support groups like Gamblers Anonymous. These treatments help you identify your triggers that can lead to gambling and teach you ways to overcome and manage those triggers. For instance, if a stressful day at work usually makes you feel like gambling, you may learn yoga, deep breathing, or other healthy methods that relieve stress without putting your health and well-being at risk.
Gambling Addiction Help
If you or someone you love needs treatment for gambling addiction, it’s important that you use a treatment approach that best suits your recovery needs. Gambling addiction treatment is available in many different settings, including inpatient and outpatient treatment settings.
Inpatient gambling addiction treatment can greatly benefit those who suffer from severe gambling disorder, and who have suffered severe financial, legal, or social problems. Inpatient treatment includes around-the-clock supervision in a hospital-like setting where you can live for the duration of your treatment program. The intense level of therapy, counseling, and supervision provided by inpatient treatment centers can help significantly reduce the risk of relapse while in recovery.
Compulsive gamblers often need support from friends, family members, and peers to help them stop gambling. Gamblers Anonymous groups can provide peer and social support for those in recovery or for those who wish they can stop gambling. These groups can provide a solid, healthy foundation for a successful and long-term recovery from gambling addiction.
Here’s how to help a family member or loved one suffering from a gambling addiction:
- Understand the addiction. The first thing you can do to help a loved one who is addicted to gambling is to learn all you can about the addiction. Find a support group that can help you cope with the stress that comes from having a loved one who is addicted to gambling.
- Find support. Support for yourself and for your loved one who is addicted can be very beneficial in helping with a gambling addiction. Many support groups are available throughout communities and in treatment centers. Therapists and counselors can also provide support for gambling addiction.
- Manage money tightly. If your loved one is addicted to gambling and is actively pursuing help, take over managing all financial responsibilities for your loved one. This can help reduce any gambling impulses your loved one may be experiencing throughout their recovery.